What lurks within the shadows
by loyalhero90
Summary: Shinji has to remember his past and deal with the present. However, can shinji handle the horrors from his past and still maintain compassion for life.
1. Dreams

**I don't own any evangelion characters. Wish I did though.**

**Broken **

A young boy tossed and turned in his bed while his dreams turned into nightmares. The 14 year old boy always had weird dreams but this dream was different.

Dreamscape

"_Where am I?" he said to himself as he surveyed his surroundings._

_This dream setting was not in a dark, grungy cell or corpse infested battle fields like usual but instead it was in a bleak, endless void of….nothing._

"_Why am I here, I can't see any-ouch!" his sentence was cut short when he suddenly stepped in something, he picked the object to find out that it was a broken piece of mirror. As he looked up from inspecting it he gasp, gone was the void and in its place were many shattered mirrors._

"_What the hell!" he said to himself, full of confused rage but that rage turned into cold fear when he looked into the mirrors and saw his reflection._

_Each mirror was different, portraying himself differently. One held a reflection of himself with cuts and bruises all over his body and his head was shaved bald, another was a reflection of his five year old self but in shackles and looked as if he was trying to hold back tears while another presented himself with normal clothes on but he had a silver collar around his neck and his head was also shaved bald._

_What startled him the most was that in each reflection of himself he was younger and his eyes were dead and emotionless. As he continued to look at the reflections, they started to distort and melt into metallic ooze. Shinji backed away but it was like the ooze knew where he was, like magnets the ooze started to ooze it's way to the the confused and trapped boy._

_When the ooze touched him he was immobilized "Co-, Col-, Cold" he tried to get out as the ooze slowly merged into his body "Sto-, please STOP!"_

Shinji Ikari awoke with a cold sweat and a very loud alarm clock.

He turned the alarm off and slowly dragged himself into the bathroom for his morning shower. As he got out the shower he slowly looked at his body. He had the face of a 14 year-old- boy but his body said otherwise. He was lean but very toned with 6 packed abs and dusted with a slight tan even though he rarely went outside. Instead of checking for normal teenage objects like facial impurities Shinji studied his arm. His right arm held six scars (three on the front and three in the back) that intertwined like chains binding his arm to the rest of his body.

When he asked his teacher he said that Shinji was in a car accident with parents and the hospital had to re-attach his arm even though he couldn't remember the accident or his parents for that matter. The explanation was probably the lamest lie ever told in the history of man kind but at least the old man tried.

Shinji knew that his teacher was just hiding the truth of his past. However, Shinji only had certain flashbacks of his previous life so he didn't even know what fully happened to him. He only knew that he was reconstructed to be a weapon and that his life was horrendous.

"I destroy life" he thought as he remembered what happened to him. A biological humanoid warfare weapon Shinji repeated in his head. He never knew why his teacher would make up such weird things about his past when he truly knew what he was. 'Wonder how I got this arm though' he thought trying to dredge up some type of evidence from his past that would justify his unusual circumstance. However his mind came up to blood red blurs and darkness. Shinji decided to fix himself some breakfast as he walked down the old creaking stairs to the kitchen.

Shinji never really had an appetite something to do with one of his numerous experiments that he encountered but could not recall. "It's what normal people do" Shinji said out loud repeating what his teacher had said. As shinji sat down to eat he looked at his hands. They held some scars but nothing to turn heads or to cause alarm. He began to wonder why he didn't have any scars. The place that he was kidnapped to was a slave/ experimental warfare facility; he should have some scars. He just concluded his appearance as a way the government hid their mistakes. After Shinji finished his breakfast and did his chores he pondered whether to go to the library or go to a museum. He decided library.

As Shinji walked out the door to go to the library he decided to check the mail. Most of the mail was bills and scams but one piece of mail caught his eye. It was from Gendo Ikari at NERV.

"_Gendo Ikari"_ thought Shinji, wondering where he had heard the name before. The name seemed a little funny but then he remembered his teacher telling him that Gendo Ikari was his father. "Father" Shinji whispered. While Shinji slowly opened the letter and a card fell out and a book but he didn't pay attention the only thing he could think about was one word; father. As he pulled the paper out he read the words '**COME**" in big bold letters. Shinji stared at the letter thinking "_Father you abandoned me to a place where I was tortured and used"_. As Shinji thought this over he started to become angry and without knowing it he crushed the paper he was holding. "What do you want with me_" Shinji whispered "...Father."_

ENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDENDEND

Explanation: shinji is a little emotionless. He is quiet but he does have a backbone. He likes to keep to himself and he has no friends. He is very intelligent. Shinji only remember certain parts of his life not everything that happened to him. He only remembers the most prominent events like he knows that he was a full human that the camp had reconstructed to become a weapon. Keep reading to find out more!


	2. After 10 years

Hi I'm back shinji meets misato in this one oh and he's not wearing his lame old school uniform he wore in the series instead he wears a long sleeved black dress shirt with a white shirt underneath and black jeans. He occasionally wears a long black leather coat. I own nothing.

Chapter 2

**Next day**

Shinji decided to go to NERV and see why his _father_ asked to see him. His teacher wanted to say something before he went off though. "Well Shinji you are not a dumb or ignorant child so I am pretty sure you know at least the basics of your past" he said as he gave Shinji a distressed looking medium sized box. "The people that left you in my care after the organization that …. changed you were discovered said that they wanted me to give you this box when they felt like you could handle the truth". He finished by saying " Remember that no matter what you past encountered you are have to move forward and you are still a human being". Shinji was surprised at his teacher's small speech. '_I am still human_' Shinji thought as he said his goodbyes and left.

**AT THE STATION**

"She is late" Shinji said while he once again called his late escort only to hear that the phone was out of service. For the second time Shinji pulled out the picture that held his escort on it. "Very promiscuous" shinji thought to himself as he scanned the picture following the red arrow to the woman's breasts. To any other boy the picture would have been the ultimate stimulant to their now raging hormones but to Shinji the picture just portrayed a woman. Shinji put the picture back in his duffel bag before his mind wondered to the old box that was engraved with his name. "I wonder..." Shinji said as he looked at the box intently on the bench beside him. As curiosity took the best of him, Shinji slowly began to open the box. When the first centimeter was up he felt a strange feeling _"Someone is watching me_" he thought as he quickly closed the box and scanned his surrounding area. What he saw was very strange; a young girl in a school uniform with red eyes and blue hair, shinji was a little startled by her steady gaze but he did not show it. Instead he gave her an icy pericing glare. "Who is she and why -" BOOM! Shinji's train of thought was muddled with loud clamor of broken debris and flying planes.

Shinji's head snapped up as he looked at the source of all this commotion then he took a quick glance back at the spot the girl was to find that she was gone. Shinji didn't keep his eyes on the missing girl's spot for very long because the huge creature had just swatted a plane towards him. While the careening plane flew towards him he continued to stare at it with mild disinterest before he quickly leaped back to let the metal pile of debris land on the concrete.

Shinji was then met with the sound of tires screeching; burnt rubber and a feminine voice yelling "Get in now". Shinji's eyes slowly opened, he looked at the car and then at the plane. "Die another day, I guess" he mumbled as he grabbed his things and jumped into the car. Before he even put his seatbelt on the car took off going at least about 90mph.

"Sorry it took me so long" the driver said "I'm Misato Katsuragi, nice to meet you" she said while scanning the young boy.

"Likewise" Shinji responded while looked over his driver with cold, calculating eyes before he decided the scenery looked better out the window. He turned and stared out of it, determined to discourage all and any conversation.

Misato a little shaken up by his cold glare turned back to the road "_He's so cold and lifeless but he is in pretty good shape. I wonder why he's wearing that a long sleeve shirt in this heat? _Misato wondered."Um, shinji" She started an _innocent_ interrogation of her young passenger's unusual habits and life experience. "Yes?" Shinji said while he continued to look at the scenery. Misato paused trying to think of a nice way to phrase the question, "Why do you act so emotionless?" When she suddenly saw something out the window and screamed "N2 mine, get down!"

Suddenly Shinji's head was down between his legs while pressure was exerted heavily on his shoulders and a huge boom echoed through his skull. What startled Shinji a little was the car being turned over like a toy car being thrown.

He heard Misato gasp a little though he only caught it faintly when the window burst open on his side. He felt a sticky, warm liquid slide down his face and run into his hair; he instantly knew it was blood from the flying glass. Finally the car stopped turning and sound slowly returned to his eyes. Shinji felt distinctly sick though it soon passed. He turned around, intending to ask Misato whether she needed any assistance and saw the woman in question sprawled half in half out of the driver's seat. She wasn't moving and Shinji soon saw the reason; Misato had a piece of glass stuck in her side from his window. Shinji slowly put the now immobile Misato in an upright position in the driver's seat then. He forced the door open and crawled out. As quickly as he crawled out, he felt the car slowly turn over, Misato scooted a little bit until she was in the driver's seat in the car. While trying to attend to her wound Misato slowly watch Shinji lift up the sweater and undo his white shirt. Shinji then entered the car again and without either saying a word (Shinji just didn't care and Misato was too startled to say or do anything other than sit) Shinji pulled his shirt up around her small waist, and then tied it to halt the flow of blood. After tending to her wound, Shinji sat in his own seat and stared at Misato until she regained her bearings and asked "What is that giant out there" Misato blinked out of her stupor and replied " It's an angel". Shinji replied with just a nod and returned to the scenery.

"O-Kay, uh, lets get going" Misato said while she attempted to regain her senses before she realised where she was supposed to be going. She put the car into first and sped off into the fading dust cloud to NERV.

**NERV entrance**

"Do you have your ID card, Shinji?" Misato asked, her manner once again business-like.

"Yes" Shinji replied before pulling it out it out of his pocket. The white card bore a passport picture of him and a barcode along with the traditional information. Shinji wondered where they had got the picture from.

"Slide it through the reader." Shinji did as he was told and before they knew where they were, they were looking at the Geofront. Misato took the elevator to the medical facility to patch up her side. "This has to be pretty amazing to"- Misato said before Shinji interrupted her train of thought and said "A Geofront." His tone sounded like he had seen something better and his eyes still held no emotions. Misato made a mental note to ask him about it later but for now they needed to get to the command center.

**In the halls**

"Are we lost" Shinji said with a small amount of annoyance.

"No, I just can't remember where the command center is" Misato said sheepishly before she decided to divert attention away from her embarrassing lack of directional skills, "Shinji, why do you here that long sleeved shirt on when it's so hot in here?". She was truly intrigued by the mystery before her in the form of Shinji Ikari.

"Is that really any of your business" he replied with no hint of sarcasm or anger but it still made Misato a little angry for the firm rebuttal. Actually Shinji wore the long sleeved shirt to hide his arm. He did not want to draw attention to himself or his scars.

Misato was about to press the issue further but another voice caught her attention "Misato are you lost again?" said an annoyed but beautiful lady in a long lab coat and a swimming suit. Misato only smiled sheepishly and nodded, before remembering her charge "Oh, Shinji this is Dr. Ritsuko Akagi. Ritsuko this is the Third Child" Misato said. Shinji raised an eyebrow when he heard the name Third Child but said nothing of it.

"Hello, Shinji. It's a pleasure to meet you" Dr. Akagi greeted with her hand outstretched. However Shinji did not shake her hand but instead bowed and said "It is a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Akagi" with an emotionless voice and stone cold eyes. Dr. Akagi was sort of taken back by his reaction and thought "_His life with his teacher should not had made him this way, he should be weak_". She decided to investigate the matter further later but now she had a task to do. "Both of you come with me, we need to get to the command center quickly" Ritsuko said, her tone brooking no argument.

As the three walked to the command center, Shinji decided to read the booklet that came with the package his father sent him while the ladies talked about their week. Suddenly they walked into a room that was pitch black. "_Where are the lights_" Shinji thought to himself but no sooner then he thought it, the lights came on and he was face to face with a huge purple demonic face. "Interesting" shinji all but whispered to himself. "Yes, it is very interesting," Ritsuko cut in "This is an Evangelion".

"So this is what my father has been working on" he said. He remembered his teacher telling him that his father had left him to save mankind. Shinji knew that his father abandoned him because he didn't want him, he even remembered his father walking away from him as he stood crying on the concrete. The more he thought about that image the more the feeling of hate brewed within his heart.

"Correct!" bellowed a booming voice above the three people. Shinji quickly turned around to look at the source of the voice to look into the face of his father.

"Father." Shinji said as he slightly stiffened trying to control his rage. Shinji was suddenly bombarded with a memory that seemed so real but did not fit into his past his teacher told him about.

**Memory**

A dark cold cell without a window. In the far left corner was an old bed with bloodied bed sheets and in the middle of that bed was a small boy with a silver collar on. The boy held numerous scars, old and new. His eyes were lifeless but he still held tears.

The blood on the sheets was from his body, days old. His body was covered with blood and he was bruised and battered. He was not alone though. There was another man towering over him. The man had brown hair with silver eyes and he stood almost six feet tall. By his bloodied knuckles you could infer that he added the new cuts to the small boy

"Worthless child, no wonder your father left you" the man said in a gruff low voice as he raked his bloodied fingers over an open wound on the boy face.

As soon as the large hand left the boy's face the door opened and a bright light was shown caressed around another tall figure.

**End of Memory**

"Prep the Evangelion to fight" Shinji heard his father shout to someone he could not see. Shinji could hear the annoyance his father felt to his son's quietness and cold glaring eyes in those simple five words.

"But Commander Ikari, we do not have a pilot!" Misato shouted. She was confused and did not relish the feeling.

The commander turned around and gestured to Shinji before saying "We do now."

After his father's blatant disregard about his son's opinion Shinji began to chuckle sadistically earning some of his father's attention. "You know its funny" Shinji began "You abandoned me for ten years to a place that hell would spit out and now you want me to just mindlessly do you bidding, Wow, you are a killing joke _dad_," Shinji ended his little laps from reality dripping with sarcasm.

"I left you because I had no use for you, third child." Gendo started slightly flustered with his son's irritable behavior.

"Oh, Goodness," Shinji said while his eyes grew deadly and a huge grin began to spread across his face. "The Great Gendo Ikari has finally found a use for ME, gee my day just got a little brighter!" he said laughing but he soon ended his insane streak and quickly replaced his smile with a tight frown "However, I don't care about your uses for me so you can just shove your plans right up your ass and have a nice day".

"Shinji" Ristuko yelled slightly unnderved by the boy's quickly changing demeanor "The EVA is the last hope for mankind, YOU have to pilot it", she finished slightly out of breath. Misato just stood stunned staring at the whole spectacle while trying to figure about Shinji's mental stability.

Before Shinji could respond Gendo frowned from his son's strong personality and said, "Fuyustki. Prep Rei for piloting. Dr. Akagi, re-configure the First Child's data in Unit One. The Third Child is unusable."

Soon a stretcher was wheeled out. On it was a young girl with red eyes and blue hair. Shinji would not have cared about her until the stretcher hit an uneven tile and toppled over sending the young girl to the floor. Shinji, acting on impulse, caught the girl before she hit the floor and quietly stared at her. Rei's face was contorted to an expression of pain and Shinji could feel the familiar liquid of blood but still he looked at her with unemotional eyes.

As Shinji put the girl back on the stretcher he thought about what his teacher had told him before he left 'You are human…. share some sympathy' he thought as he finally laid Rei on the stretcher. He turned to look into the dark orbs of the purple Evangelion and said in a cold, low tone "_I_ will pilot the Eva".

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

End of chapter two- PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I live off of your feedback. Oo


	3. The Battle

As Shinji climbed into the cramped cylinder he began to get a headache. His body felt disconnected and hot, his limbs uncoprative. The feelings began to feel worse as he sat in the pilot's seat fully. He began to feel sick and feverish. "Shinji," Misato asked, "Are you okay?".

"I am fine." Shinji replied, his voice strained as he ignored the pain and sat upright in the cockpit.

Once he sat up the cockpit began to fill with an orange liquid. "What is this?" Shinji demanded as he held his breath. It rose up around his feet, climbing rapidly as Shinji fought down his panic. "It's LCL" Ritsuko said " It's a oxygen subsitute. In a few minutes you won't even notice it. Just breathe it in like you would air.". As Shinji finally inhaled his senses were eroded by the coppery taste of blood.

**The bridge**

"Wow, sync ratio up to 70 percent! Is that even possible?" Maya Ibuki asked Ritsuko, her astonishment clear. "I guess he is just our little prodigy." Ritsuko answered her eyes on the screen.

**In the cockpit**

"What is this stuff made out of?" Shinji said to himself as another image of the bruised child flashed in his mind. He was not given to dwell on the matter however as his flashback was cut short by Misato's voice. "Ready Shinji?" Misato demanded loudly.

"Roger, Captain. Katsuragi!" Shinji responded back with the affirmative despite his inhibitions about piloting this mammoth of a beast.

"EVA LAUNCH!" Misato yelled. With that last command Shinji felt himself being driven upwards with an amazing speed toward the surface. The gravity pulled at his hands, his legs, trying to claw him back to the center of the earth.

Shinji felt his body lurch at the abrupt stop as he was face to face with the Angel. As soon as he saw the Angel his body temperature lunged to an unbearable heat almost instantly. Pure scorching heat bombarded his senses over-riding any attempt to ingore the pain.

"Shinji just try to walk now." He heard Ritsuko say from someone far away. He tried to focus on the Eva but his body wouldn't let him. His skin felt like it was being cut in a hundred different places at the same time and his mind spiraled as it portrayed flashbacks of fighting and blood. It felt like his body was being taken over by some presence that wasn't his own. It felt _wrong_. He felt paralyzed, outside his own control, as the Angel grabbed his head and the communications were between him and the bridge were severed.

**The Bridge**

_Emergency! Emergency! _flashed throughout the command center on every screen as the bridge bunnies tried to regain some control over the battle or at least figure out was happening on the surface. "The pilot's sync ratio is way up! Body temperature and heart rate accelerating!" Maya said frantically. Her fingers danced an elborate dance as she monitered the pilot.

"Establishing a connection with the pilot!" Hyuga pounded the keys, frantically trying to reconnect the bridge and the Eva, "Failure to contact! The command was rejected!"

"Well, keep trying!" Misato replied her attempts at staying calm falling apart as the scene on the surface played out across the screen in front off her. No-one could take their eyes off the Angel pounding away at the Eva's skull.

**The cockpit**

Shinji saw the light repeatedly pound away at the Eva and he felt the pain roaring through his system but he could do nothing. Whatever presence was taking over his body paralyzed his movements, all of them. Shinji's mind was being overthrown by two people. Both were trying to gain rule over his movements, his very being. One was a lady with brown hair and green eyes who spoke comforting words to him. The other was a boy who looked just like him except for his blue pupiless eyes and silver hair who spoke of Killing and Murder. As the voices fought in the battlefield his mind had become, Shinji began to mumble their words aloud, "You're in so much pain, let me help you. I can help you." the woman said.

"No one loves you, you feed off of pain! You should let blood rain upon the earth from your enemies!" the boy said savagely. As the Angel began to crack into the skull of the Eva he heard the boy say "You are worthless and you should die". the woman's voice began to fade and the demon began to take over until it won. Shinji's eyes began to lose their pupils and began to glow blue (1). His skin felt like it was crawling with a thousand spiders as strange red scars began to appear on his body, like he was being attacked by an invisible enemy.

**On the screen on the bridge**

The Eva grabbed the hand of the Angel before it's shell was fully broken and ripped the arm off. The Eva brought up a force shield that instantly threw the Angel back to a safe distance and made it lose its balance. Shinji and the Eva stood up, moving perfectly. None of the previous clumsiness or the slow movements; the pilot and 90ft tall robot were smoothness and elegance embodied. The Eva ran to the Angel and straddled its waist in what seemed to be a mere second. While restraining the Angel's legs, Unit-01 tore off the Angels 'ribs' and repeatedly rammed the pointed bone into the round ruby orb. The Angel resisted but Unit-01 was relentless, stabbing again and again until the orb cracked and splattered all over the concrete. Unit-01 had killed its first Angel.

**In the cockpit**

The unknown boy's voice chuckled slowly as Shinji regained control over his body and he returned back to normal. "What the hell was that?" he said out loud to no one in particular.

Suddenly, a little video screen popped up with Misato's face on it. "Shinji, are you okay?" she said frantically, her eyes wide and her voice shaking.

"Yes" he almost whispered. Shinji's explanation did not quell Misato's anxiety as she looked at his eyes. As a matter of fact no one on the bridge was convinced. Shinji's eyes looked glazed and emotionless but most of all they looked hate filled. He looked utterly exhausted from the fight and nobody could blame him.

However, Misato just said "Okay. We'll get you out in a minute." gentle voiced and the screen promptly vanished. Shinji sat alone in the Eva waiting for the crew as he pondered about the two people that had invaded his mind. Slowly he picked up his hand to come in front of his face even though his body was still sore. His hand throbbed from the exertion and his skin felt like it was crawling again.

He remembered the demon child taking over his body and his mind reeled over the images he had seen. He didn't know how long had passed, it could have been seconds, minutes or even hours, he didn't know.. The blood, the rage and the death it seemed so fresh until he could almost smell the foul stench again.

'What the hell is happening to me?' he thought.

1) remember Riddick's eyes off of The Chronicles of Riddick


End file.
